Today felt like a day straight out of the “Twilight Zone.” My definition of what is “normal” is relative, based on the very diverse personalities in my class. There is rarely a day when I am not left laughing or shaking my head because of something my kids have said or done. That being said, today felt like a chain of very disturbing and strange events, even for my kids.
As with all schools, our day started out with announcements and the Pledge of Allegiance. Just like any other day, I stood up for the pledge and placed my hand over my heart, but apparently, I removed it before the voice on the intercom said “all.” Upon seeing that, one of my dear, sweet children (who happens to have no boundaries), decided that it was appropriate to place HIS hand over my heart, so that I could appropriately finish the pledge. Well, as we all know, a woman’s heart lies in very close proximity to another organ, so his sweet, patriotic gesture turned out to look more sinister and perverse. I immediately took his hand off and asked him what he was doing, to which he responded, “Mrs. Rannou, you took your hand off your heart before the whole pledge was over, so I let you borrow mine.” Now, just to clarify, this is not a little boy who had anything other than innocent intentions, unlike some of the other, less naive kids in my class. While the idea of the gesture itself was actually quite sweet, I was weirded out by it for the rest of the day!
After the rather unusual start to my day, it didn’t really get any better. At the beginning of the day, I noticed that a few of my students had holes in their pants, very close to an area that needs to remain covered, if you catch my drift. Upon seeing this, I called each child over individually to let them know that they needed to be careful of how they sat, so as not to expose their underwear. Two of them were kind of embarrassed, and the other one seemed oblivious as to why the hole could cause a problem. He proceeded to sit in a manner that made his underwear quite visible, and on several occasions, the other kids pointed it out to him, in an attempt to get him to be a little more discreet. Their attempts fell on deaf ears, much as mine had. Fast forward an hour or two, when my students were working in groups at their tables. This boy had his hand raised, so I made my way to his table, and upon my arrival, was greeted with quite a surprise. I won’t go into any more detail than to say that I saw something I shouldn’t have. I immediately asked another teacher in the room to take him to get another pair of pants from the school’s “clothes closet,” but he protested, saying that he, and his pants, were ok. Of course, I refused to accept this after the mishap, so eventually, he ended up wearing a new pair of hole-free pants. Who would have thought the offer of a new pair of pants would sound so unappealing???
As if the first two things weren’t enough, this last one sent me over the edge. Apparently, I have a student who has been peeing outside in the mornings, as soon as he gets off the bus. I was made aware of the situation by another student last week, when, upon entering the classroom, looked at the other boy and said, “You nasty!” Obviously, I had no idea where this had come from, but after inquiring about the root of this insult, I found out that the student had peed outside on the sidewalk. I assumed that this was a one-time thing, so after talking to the little boy, I didn’t pursue it any further. Well, I guess I was wrong, because I have heard several kids say, “That’s the boy who pees on the ground.” Wow. What a legacy to leave as he goes to 3rd grade. Actually, his new moniker sounds oddly enough like the title to a possible TLC documentary, along the same lines as “The Half-Ton Teen” or “World’s Strongest Toddler”…
Looking back at all of the craziness from this year, I really can’t do anything but laugh. If nothing else, this bunch of kids has provided me with so many funny memories, and as of late, some really good Facebook and blog posts! I only wonder if next year’s group will be this exciting. To be perfectly honest, part of me hopes they are!