Monthly Archives: May 2011

And Now I Know Why I Feel Crazy Most of the Time…

As this school year winds down, I am left looking back at all of the ridiculous/crazy/funny/troubling things that my kids have done or said. Each year, I have had kids who have said some unforgettable things, but I think that the kids this year take the cake. It seems like there has been at least one incident or utterance each day that made me stop dead in my tracks. Here’s a compilation of some of my favorites, done in the fashion of Letterman’s Top Ten List:

10. The boy who said to me, “Mrs. Rannou, I like how you squat so low,” as I was crouching down to finish writing on the board.

9. The same little boy as above (you will see that he makes a lot of appearances on this list, because he is funny as hell, without even meaning to be), who came to me at the end of the day and said, “Can you tell Josie and Gracie I farted?”

8. In reading group one day, my kids were reading a book about space. I guess I had tuned out for a bit, because when I heard, “I didn’t know Uranus was green!,” I definitely didn’t think he was talking about planets!

7.  An actual phone message from a parent: “Hey. I was just wondering if the kids were still out of school next week, because I heard they have a new calendar. Also, I was calling to see if we were making up a week of school, since we were off for the snow. That would make sense, because the kids could go to school for an extra week since they were off for a week. Call me back and let me know.” Wow.

6.  After reading a story about Grandma Moses, which was called No Ordinary Grandma, I asked my students why they thought that Grandma Moses was not ordinary. Most of the kids were deep in thought, trying to figure out a good answer, when one boy’s hand shot up, and he said, “Maybe because she was a man??? Because that wouldn’t be very ordinary.”

5.  The child who peed in his pants, and was wet from mid-chest to mid-thigh. Enough said.

4.  After teaching a lesson on using addition to check subtraction problems, one of my skeptical students was trying it out for himself. Upon realizing that I was actually right, what did he say? “Wow!” No. “Cool!” No. “Neat!” No. “Holy sh*t!” Yes.

3.  After learning that one of my little boys peed after stepping off the bus, I called him over to my table to ask him about it. As soon as I expressed my concern, he tried to pacify me by saying, “It’s ok, nobody saw anything.” When I asked him what he meant, he explained that he had just pulled “it” out of a hole in his pants and peed on the ground. Too much information.

2. Learning that one of my little boys stuck his hand IN THE TOILET to retrieve a pencil. When I asked him why he would do something so gross, he answered very plainly, “Because it was a neat pencil.”

1. And, lastly, from one of the children quoted/mentioned the most often: As I was reading a story one day I felt something strange in between my toes. When I looked down, I realized that a little boy was sticking his finger between my toes. Obviously, I was a little shocked and appalled, so I asked him in a very disgusted tone,”WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” He very calmly responded by saying, “I’m sticking my fingers between your toes, Mrs. Rannou. Why?” I went on to explain why that was not appropriate, because people’s feet could be dirty, and his response (again very calm) was, “But Mrs. Rannou, it’s ok because I know your feet are very clean. I can tell.” Well, thanks for appreciating my hygiene, but that’s still gross.

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For My Mom

Looking ahead to Mother’s Day, I wanted to carve out a little bit of time to talk about my mom. From the time I was a little girl, she has always been by my side. Whether it was playing dress up, swinging on the swings, or just walking and talking (like Fred and Ted), she was always my best friend. I can’t think of a time when she was not by my side, whether it was walking me into preschool, or keeping me calm before I walked down the aisle. There really is nothing like the closeness shared by a mother and a daughter. You know what the other one is thinking without even asking. You can finish each other’s sentences practically before they have even begun. You can fight like crazy, yet make up in a second and go on as if nothing had happened.

I feel so unbelievably lucky to have been blessed with such an amazing mother. She is the most loving, caring, honest, and wonderful woman I could even imagine. I truly treasure her, and I only hope that I have shown her as much love as she has shown me. Happy Mother’s Day, Mary McGreevy!!!

Oh, Those Kids!

Today felt like a day straight out of the “Twilight Zone.” My definition of what is “normal” is relative, based on the very diverse personalities in my class. There is rarely a day when I am not left laughing or shaking my head because of something my kids have said or done. That being said, today felt like a chain of very disturbing and strange events, even for my kids.

As with all schools, our day started out with announcements and the Pledge of Allegiance. Just like any other day, I stood up for the pledge and placed my hand over my heart, but apparently, I removed it before the voice on the intercom said “all.” Upon seeing that, one of my dear, sweet children (who happens to have no boundaries), decided that it was appropriate to place HIS hand over my heart, so that I could appropriately finish the pledge. Well, as we all know, a woman’s heart lies in very close proximity to another organ, so his sweet, patriotic gesture turned out to look more sinister and perverse. I immediately took his hand off and asked him what he was doing, to which he responded, “Mrs. Rannou, you took your hand off your heart before the whole pledge was over, so I let you borrow mine.” Now, just to clarify, this is not a little boy who had anything other than innocent intentions, unlike some of the other, less naive kids in my class. While the idea of the gesture itself was actually quite sweet, I was weirded out by it for the rest of the day!

After the rather unusual start to my day, it didn’t really get any better. At the beginning of the day, I noticed that a few of my students had holes in their pants, very close to an area that needs to remain covered, if you catch my drift. Upon seeing this, I called each child over individually to let them know that they needed to be careful of how they sat, so as not to expose their underwear. Two of them were kind of embarrassed, and the other one seemed oblivious as to why the hole could cause a problem. He proceeded to sit in a manner that made his underwear quite visible, and on several occasions, the other kids pointed it out to him, in an attempt to get him to be a little more discreet. Their attempts fell on deaf ears, much as mine had. Fast forward an hour or two, when my students were working in groups at their tables. This boy had his hand raised, so I made my way to his table, and upon my arrival, was greeted with quite a surprise. I won’t go into any more detail than to say that I saw something I shouldn’t have. I immediately asked another teacher in the room to take him to get another pair of pants from the school’s “clothes closet,” but he protested, saying that he, and his pants, were ok. Of course, I refused to accept this after the mishap, so eventually, he ended up wearing a new pair of hole-free pants. Who would have thought the offer of a new pair of pants would sound so unappealing???

As if the first two things weren’t enough, this last one sent me over the edge. Apparently, I have a student who has been peeing outside in the mornings, as soon as he gets off the bus. I was made aware of the situation by another student last week, when, upon entering the classroom, looked at the other boy and said, “You nasty!” Obviously, I had no idea where this had come from, but after inquiring about the root of this insult, I found out that the student had peed outside on the sidewalk. I assumed that this was a one-time thing, so after talking to the little boy, I didn’t pursue it any further. Well, I guess I was wrong, because I have heard several kids say, “That’s the boy who pees on the ground.” Wow. What a legacy to leave as he goes to 3rd grade. Actually, his new moniker sounds oddly enough like the title to a possible TLC documentary, along the same lines as “The Half-Ton Teen” or “World’s Strongest Toddler”…

Looking back at all of the craziness from this year, I really can’t do anything but laugh. If nothing else, this bunch of kids has provided me with so many funny memories, and as of late, some really good Facebook and blog posts! I only wonder if next year’s group will be this exciting. To be perfectly honest, part of me hopes they are!