Things My Husband Hates

While most people that know him well would consider him to be “particular,” it never ceases to amaze me how certain, seemingly mundane things can really get under his skin. Here are just a few:

1. Easter grass: My parents made both of us great Easter baskets this past weekend, as they have every year since I was born. They were filled with a delicious assortment of chocolates and candies, along with green and wispy Easter grass. Now, I wouldn’t consider this particular item one that should incite disgust and anger, but Mr. Wilson apparently thinks differently. As we were taking apart our baskets and putting the candy away, I heard him say on multiple occasions, “Oh my Lord, this sh*t keeps getting everywhere! What is this stuff called again? Easter grass? Well, I think it should be called bullsh*t!” And, of course, this comment made me laugh even harder, because it’s such a silly little thing, and while it can be annoying to find little pieces strewn about your house, it’s not really something to get that worked up over.

2. People who allow their dogs to go “nose-to-nose” with yours: I am 100% in agreement with him about this issue, and I think that most fellow dog owners would be as well. There have been so many times when we have been walking our dogs, and some lady on a cell phone with an extendable 20-foot leash allows her dog to run up to our dogs, without warning. Granted, we do have very sweet dogs, but they are also very protective, and I would not fault either one of them for giving another dog a little warning snap if it got too close. Each time it happens, I can hear him muttering something to the unsuspecting dog-walker as she passes and growling under his breath. Funny, but true.

3. Carpenter bees: Ever since the warmer temperatures debuted a few weeks ago, my husband has been battling his spring/summer nemeses— carpenter bees. He can be outside watering the lawn, edging, or grilling, when all of a sudden, he stops what he’s doing to go after a bee. Towel in hand, he swats and smacks at it until the bee has met its unfortunate demise. He is not content in just scaring it off temporarily, rather he wants to make sure that the bee never comes back again. Upon opening our patio door the other day, I noticed a rather large dead bee on the bricks. When I pointed it out, he said, “Yeah, I killed him today, and I left his body there to send a message to his friends.” I guess we have reverted back to biblical times, where they often used people to “make an example.” This time though, they are insects, and instead of swords or clubs, the weapon of choice is a gray towel.

4. My baggage: I know what you’re probably thinking; I must have some emotional baggage that makes my husband very uncomfortable. Wrong. What I do have, however, are lots of re-usable shopping bags. In my effort to be a little “greener” a few years ago, I stocked up on a dozen or so of these aforementioned bags. Not that he had a problem with me having them, or even the amount, rather the problem rested in the fact that I tended to use them for other things and leave them in various places. There was usually one in my car, serving as a receptacle for “school stuff,” one that I brought to and from school for my lunch, and I usually had another one in the garage filled with kids’ artwork (I can’t keep all of it, plus, they’re not even my actual children). I guess it had been eating at him for a while, because one day he just snapped and said, “Oh my God, you’re like a bag lady!” Of course, I immediately started laughing, because I had no idea that something this small (and unnoticed by me) would be such a big deal. As they say, you live and learn, so I have taken another step toward improving our marriage by only having ONE bag around (well, that one, plus the other one that’s hiding in the back of my car…).

4 responses to “Things My Husband Hates

  1. Sweet Mr. Wilson! We all have our little things that bug us, huh? All of those made me laugh.

  2. i know! i love him, in spite of all of the crazy idiosyncracies! 🙂 more than anything, it always makes me laugh when i discover a new pet peeve of his!

  3. This is sooo funny!
    Watch out Frank — I am already thinking of what I can substitute for that Easter grass.
    If truth be told…I can’t stand finding those little pieces of grass weeks later. It does look pretty in the basket though.

  4. i know you’ll come up with something good! real grass, maybe?

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